Embrace Desire
The Turning Feral Journal - Day 40
Day 40 - For the past several months I have been attending a men’s group that is focused on how to be a better father in a broken world. Recently we have focused on “desire” and what it means. On the surface level, desire is just the function of want or need… I want to pay my bills, I want to live off-grid, or I need to improve my health. All valid examples of desire.
But, with desire comes the need for action and with that action often comes the undeniable reality of not attaining the outcome you wanted. E.g. Your bills remain constantly overdue, you are stuck in your suburban stasis dreaming of your off-grid lifestyle, and you never quite drop the pounds you wanted to.
Then, as those desires are left unfulfilled year after year we move to a place of resignation and cynicism; with that we then lose the connection to what it is we wanted in the first place - which leads a lot of people to depression and the feeling of a slow death on a sinking ship they can’t abandon.
So, the question becomes how do we not lose heart in the pursuit of our desires in the face of constant let down? I think the first question has to be, ‘are we desiring the right things?’ John Eldridge sums up how to discern shallow desires from deeper spiritual needs in the following quote:
“People [act out] their desires when it’s a matter of life and death. Crowds trample each other to get out of a building; they press into the mob to reach the food line. When life is at stake, and the answer is within reach, that’s when you see human desire unmasked in all its desperation.”
I have thought a lot about this over the past several years since Turning Feral. What was my desire? Was it to ‘own’ land and be equipped to self-sustain my family? Sure, that was the shallow part of my desire (one that has been met by constant let down), but the root of my desire was to live freely.
My desire was to feel as unburdened by societal norms as Andrew Garcia did in the 1870’s during his ‘Rough Trip Through Paradise.’ And boy is it still a work in progress. However, discerning and understanding my true desire has helped separate the wheat from the chaff in managing my expectations in where I thought I would be at this point in life.
Daily Prompt: What are your current desires? If you suddenly put yourself in a life or death situation and asked yourself the previous question, would those desires line up? If not, why do you think that is?:
Motivational Passage:
“Endless invention, endless experiment,
Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word…
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
- T.S. Eliot
Rewilding Action: As we move into winter, I can’t stress enough the importance of high-quality merino wool layers. Whether it’s socks or long underwear, the value you get out of these garments is priceless in cold weather. They wick sweat away and dry out quickly leaving you no worse for the wear. I know I have talked about socks here before, but First Lite has a great long underwear line, called Furnace, that I have been wearing on my trapline and love.