From Darwin to Munger
The Turning Feral Journal - Day 45
Day 45: Often when I chat with people about building a life they desire, whether that be around parenting, marriage, or living off-grid, people seem stuck. They can’t figure out why their marriage isn’t thriving, their kids aren’t listening, or why they can’t find the time to be outdoors as much as they would like. When I start to press on the core underlying reasons behind these feelings I am met with a flood of excuses. “My spouse doesn’t do X enough,” or “My kids just have a mind of their own,” or one of my favorites, “I can’t get outside because I don’t own enough land.”
Now, I am not one who enjoys giving advice directly to people. I do not consider myself to be enough of an expert in any one area and can never quite brainwash myself into believing that I don’t face similar problems… Yet, one of the things I have observed in people who complain to me about their lifestyle(s) is that they usually aren’t living out the values they want to receive.
When I started my spiritual renaissance journey back in 2011, one of the first books I read was “Seeking Wisdom: From Darwin to Munger.” In that book, Charlie Munger (RIP) talked about living out what you want to receive and to be deserving of what you want, he said:
“How to find a good spouse? The best single way is to deserve a good spouse… to get what you want, you have to deserve what you want.”
Granted this quote is about personal relationships, but it’s easy to see how if you want something you need to be living out the values you desire. In my opinion, you can’t possibly attract a set of values if you aren’t actively embracing them yourself. Now I am not saying that if you are in a bad relationship, or if your kids are acting out, or that if you can’t find time to get outside that you aren’t deserving of those things. I am saying, however, that if those things are getting the better of you, you should take time to ensure that you are reflecting the values that could help change those situations.
Spouse not doing the chores you want them to do? That’s OK, you do them. Kids eating all the junk food and not obeying? That’s OK, you be a quiet example of healthy habits. Not enough time to get outdoors? That’s OK, wake up earlier to get some fresh air before the family wakes up. You have to actively live what you want to receive in all areas of your life — you be the example and set the pace.
Daily Prompt: Take some time and make a list of values that you would want in a partner, in your kids, or in a hobby. Now, reflect on that list. Are you actively living out those values? If not, how can you change that?:
Motivational Passage:
“I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest, sometimes not even the most diligent, but they are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than they were when they got up and boy does that help, particularly when you have a long run ahead of you.”
-Charlie Munger
Rewilding Action: These morning posts are fueled by my addiction to caffeine. Black-tar coffee to be precise. It’s a relationship that likely does a number on my gut, but one I have not been able to shake for long periods of time… it’s one of the last bastions of vice that still rules over me with an iron fist. Because of its power over me, I have had to come up with ways to get my fix even when I am out in the backcountry. With my jetboil in tow, I have tried a number of instant coffee mixes over the years… It started with my least favorite blend, starbucks, before I graduated to Green Mountain who proudly claim on their label “It actually does taste good”… which says all you need to know about the state of instant coffee. After killing a few taste buds, a friend then finally introduced me to my current mainstay, Black Rifle Coffee’s instant packs. Unlike the first two contenders, this coffee is a solid step above the taste of dog’s ass and I actually look forward to striking up the jet boil to get a cup going! I recommend buying some and keeping a few stashed wherever you think you may need an emergency cup of joe.