Put Love at the Top
The Turning Feral Journal - Day 36
Day 36: Love is an odd thing. It is a word that holds profound meaning for us as humans – the Bible, the Quran, and even the Stoics all wrote about love and how it is at the core of everything we do. Yet, somewhere along the line of my own evolution, the ability to say ‘I love you,’ became difficult.
Why was it hard for me to express this emotion? I grew up in a loving family, but culturally we did not always say ‘I love you,’ it was just understood and shown. In school and sports, especially wrestling, there was a machismo that always surrounded my friendship with other guys and never did we openly express love to each other for our camaraderie. Then there was the growth of romantic relationships where saying the words ‘I love you,’ always carried with it the potential for rejection and non-reciprocation, further fueling my avoidance.
Unknowingly, I had built up a callous to saying ‘I love you.’
It wasn’t until my 30’s that I began to see men and women I looked up to using those words more liberally that my mindset began to shift. In particular, I remember meeting someone I admired at the World Hunting Expo (yes, you read that right and he fit the bill of the gruff cowboy you would expect) who, after a brief but meaningful conversation, put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and told me he loved me – and he meant it. Shocked, I asked him why he said that and his response was short, stoic, and changed my worldview, “I have love to give and I am the sole arbiter of who I share that love with, and after our conversation, I have love for you… so, I told you.”
“So, I told you.” It was that simple and it was undeniably infectious. In that moment, I realized that I too had love to give, but had shown it through action and never words. I always left a question mark instead of being direct because I was scared of rejection and feeling un-masculine. So, what did I do? I started telling people.
Friends I had known for years, my family, new acquaintances, and even homeless people… no one was safe from the new freedom I had for expressing my love and gratitude… it was freeing. So, if you are reading this devotional on learning to turn more feral, know that part of the root of transformation is love, and I love you!
Daily Prompt: What words or phrases of affirmation have you made taboo in your own life? Is it saying ‘I love you,’ or something else? Why have you shut off those emotions? What could you gain by saying them out loud?:
Motivational Passage:
“Whoever then understands what is good, can also know how to love; but he who cannot distinguish good from bad, and things which are neither good nor bad from both, can he possess the power of loving? To love, then, is only in the power of the wise.”
-Epictetus
Rewilding Action: Let’s talk about chest harnesses… Whether you plan to hunt or not, having a nice ‘chest rig’ to carry stuff on hikes is an absolute must. Most hunting apparel companies have Binocular-specific setups that have accessory pouches attached. These are usually meant to hold rangefinders, ammo, bow releases, etc., but can easily be converted to use as a holder of phones, snacks, and medical equipment. Some even have additional attachments to hold pistols or bear spray for hiking in bear country out west (or Detroit). The best I have seen for a general chest rig is from FHF gear and the best I have seen for a bino-pack is from Marsupial Gear. I also own rigs from Sitka, badlands, and KIUI, but have damaged each of those to a point of un-usability, so take that for what it’s worth.
Love you!